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Tuesday Tales today is for parents. Love...and...Logic. Amazing to hear those words together when talking about parenting young children!
For those of you with young children, have you heard of Jim Fay and Charles Fay and the "Parenting with Love and Logic" website and books? The concept is that children learn best even from an early age from making choices and living with the decisions of logical consequences. The earlier versions of the book certainly worked well years ago when my children were young and another edition certainly helped me through the teen years! This method uses gentle language, clear expressions of love and empathy and choices that benefit the child and the parent. If you find yourself at a crossroads with the tantrums of an 18 month old, the resistance of a two year old or public outbursts of a three to four year old I recommend this book. This is the method we use in coaching parents to teach their child spoken language and the principles of both methodologies complement each other. Words matter, but also the way the words are spoken also matters. The Fays even give parents tips on certain phrases that seem to do magic and help form the boundaries that are so important for developing proactive and competent children. This is my Tuesday Tales for today! Check it out!
Abundance is...going to the grocery story with a well-behaved child!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Looking forward to December and January and all of those great Christmas and Winter books!!
i love this book so much!! it was a major part of my shtick when i was creating parenting worshops. my copy is falling apart and is filled with post its, notes, dog ears and other tabs and highlights!
ReplyDeletein my opinion a MUST for all parents! it just makes sooo much sense!!
I've read this one! Which says a lot as I stay far away from self-help books, don't get me started...
ReplyDeleteBTW- i loved Twilight. I too read many that didn't like it. I thought it was cute, fun, great teeny bopper movie, my only two complaints would be the vamps make-up was a little much (but they have three more movies to get it right) and Jacob's hair. That's it! Tomorrow I will have posted why I loved it so much, come see!
Ahhh...love and logic. You know, we use this as our behavior system at our school and it is a really interesting approach. I learned all about it in college, thought it was great, and now am learning to actually use it. It is a bumpy ride trying to find a balance between the love side and the logic side, but its definitely a good idea with a strong potential.
ReplyDeleteI love this one (Magic for early childhood) the best! I think I've read about 5 of their books, attended 4 or 5 live seminars, taken an 8 week class, and heard 8 of their audio presentations! I've almost heard them all :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so right! There is nothing better than going to the store with a well-behaved child! I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking my daughter grocery shopping with me - she loves it too and even when I tell her she can't have something she's totally fine with it. What a blessing. Some people call that "luck" but I call it "parenting paying off." You've got to give kids MORAL reasons to do things - otherwise they won't act the way they "should" when mom and dad aren't around (a post on that to come!) Great post - I may have to check that book out!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I'm not raising a little one ... anymore ... as she's all grown up now, but it is a good lesson!
ReplyDeleteI have not read this so thank you for another wonderful connection to something I can learn from. I have had way too many trips to the store will cranky kids. I know these days will pass...I keep telling myself that. I'm going to try to get that book from the library.
ReplyDeletecan i just say a big amen to the behaved child at the grocery??? my OT and PT have made such a diff in sofia!!! compression vests and brushing...hooray!!
ReplyDeleteI think I should add this one to my Christmas list! This sounds perfect for my 3 year old. He loves words, and I have to be very careful what I say around him. He hears and understands everything. I love natural or logical consequences, but I sometimes struggle to think them up on the spot. Sometimes I have to walk away and come back with the consequence!
ReplyDeleteOk, I am going to buy this book. Communication has been an issue the last month or so with Ryder. He is so loving and funny, but when he gets in a mood he just does not have his listening ears! Tonight I looked at Brian after asking Ryder several times to do something and said "Does he speak English?" Oh the joys of a toddler are always abundant!
ReplyDeleteGreat book this week!! Happy Thanksgiving!!
ReplyDeleteHope your Thanksgiving holiday is a blessed and abundant one.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I haven't mastered it, I do try to use the love and logic approach at school. It takes practice to get it right, and I forget sometimes....
ReplyDeleteWhen Hannah was small, I would only let her get one thing (if anything) when we were out shopping. I'll never forget a time when she wanted a PEZ candy dispenser but couldn't make up her mind between two. Although it cost less than $2, I wouldn't let her have both. The poor child ended up not getting one at all because she couldn't make up her mind. The method had paid off, but I've always thought two PEZ dispensers wouldn't have been the end of the world!
Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. Will your girls be with you?
Roban
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeletehey
ReplyDeletewe use love and logic in our program
we also have the video on behavior in preschoolers
great pic