...Two was Enough.

Octamom posted today “ …is Eight Enough?” about her amazing family of 8 children and the thoughts about the “holy ground” on which she walks with her lovely family unit. She asked a question about our own families. I can post on this because I have thought a great deal about it over the years. My answers have wavered over the years so here is the answer for this season of my life.

I came from a family of two children, my brother two years younger and me. We had a good family life. Both of by parents worked. I married early (19) during college and then headed to graduate school. I wanted to be a speech-language pathologist. Before my final year ended I was pregnant and had our first child two months after graduation. Thirty months later we had our second. Both pregnancies were a breeze but the deliveries for both required C-sections and the recovery was long and difficult.

I felt that I had “pressed my luck”. I had two healthy children, two girls which I had wanted and really thought that another pregnancy would not result in the same fortune. I had experience with two. I rationalized that with two, each parent would have someone’s hand to hold, we fit well in a booth at a restaurant, they would split to ride rides at the fair, and they would fit well in any vehicle. And, by the time I had two (the early years were a major challenge), I was also passionate about serving the children with speech-language deficits. My husband was a committed father with a flexible schedule and I had a degree that I wanted to use.

There are no easy or certain answers to the choices I made. My girls had daycare, some of them great home sites with loving women to care for them, some of them centers that were less than ideal. We could not make it on the “pastor” salary my husband was getting. I did try to work part time initially but the income was a challenge. As is usually the case, doors began to open and I was offered a very nice full time job. I thrived on the challenges. I spent evenings and weekends at home with my girls and between the two of us we did the best we could in rearing our girls. We certainly had some challenges as they entered Jr. High, that at the time I felt were “my fault” because I was not a stay at home mom. I think with any decision, it will not be perfect and there will be days when you yearn for a different choice.

Now that they are out of school and into their own jobs, I have to say that it all worked out. They are happy, independent young women with a great work ethic. They are compassionate and “play well with others.” They share with others graciously and they stay in touch with their grandparents. They call and come home for a hug and their favorite casserole often enough. My husband and I could not be prouder of them and we feel blessed that we might have had something to do with their success.

I do wonder sometimes what path I would have taken if I had made other choices. But, if I had not made the choices I did, I would not now have such a fulfilling vocation of helping families with hearing impaired babies to teach their children to listen and talk. I cherish this work and these experiences. I feel that I did the best I could with balance in my life and in my walk on a daily basis have the opportunity to share with young women that “the choice they make is the right one for them and they should embrace it with all that they have”. Thank you to Octamom for the wonderful post!